Most marketers think that the best way to hold onto customers is through «engagement» — interacting as much as possible with them and building relationships. This is clearly wrong, as a study involving more than 7000 consumers have found. This study, conducted by HBS researchers Patrick Spenner and Karen Freeman, have proved that:

 Most consumers do not want to have relationships with your brand.

Only 23% of the consumers in that study said they have a relationship with a brand. In the typical consumer’s view of the world, relationships are reserved for friends, family and colleagues. That’s why, when you ask the 77% of consumers who don’t have relationships with brands to explain why, you get comments like «It’s just a brand, not a member of my family.» (What consumers really want when they interact with brands online is to get discounts).

So, you first have to understand which of your consumers are in the 23% and which are in the 77%. Who wants a relationship and who doesn’t? Then, apply different expectations to those two groups and market differently to them. Stop bombarding consumers who don’t want a relationship with your attempts to build one through endless emails or complex loyalty programs. Those efforts will be low ROI. Chances are there are higher returns to be had elsewhere in your marketing mix.

Interactions do not build relationships.

Shared values build relationships. A shared value is a belief that both the brand and consumer have about a brand’s higher purpose or broad philosophy. Ryanair and Southwest Airlines’ shared value revolves around the democratization of air travel. Of the consumers in that study who said they have a brand relationship, 64% cited shared values as the primary reason. That’s far and away the largest driver. Meanwhile, only 13% cited frequent interactions with the brand as a reason for having a relationship.

Thus, o build relationships, you must start by clearly communicating your brand’s philosophy or higher purpose. CEB has done extensive work on shared values, showcasing how brands like Mini, Pedigree and Southwest use them to engage with customers. You might also check into Jim Stengel’s examination of growth ideals and David Aaker’s latest work on brand relevance.

The more interaction the worse.

There’s no correlation between interactions with a customer and the likelihood that he or she will be «sticky» (go through with an intended purchase, purchase again, and recommend). Yet, most marketers behave as if there is a continuous linear relationship between the number of interactions and share of wallet. In reality, that linear relationship flattens much more quickly than most marketers think; soon, helpful interactions become an overwhelming torrent. Without realizing it, many marketers are only adding to the information bombardment consumers feel as they shop a category, reducing stickiness rather than enhancing it. 

So, instead of relentlessly demanding more consumer attention, treat the attention you do win as precious. Then ask yourself a simple question of any new marketing efforts: is this campaign/email/microsite/print ad/etc. going to reduce the cognitive overload consumers feel as they shop my category? If the answer is «no» or «not sure,» go back to the drawing board. When it comes to interacting with your customers, less is better.